No tank needs so much flow that it will disturb the sand too much. Intially, sure... but once the sand gets a nice coating of bacteria it should stay in place. There are plenty of ways to create flow without blowing your sandbed all around.
FWIW - the boxed stuff from marco rocks is pretty decent. It has a mixed size and you can sift the smaller to the bottom. I DO NOT recommend their rocks, but the aragonite sand is an effective and well-priced option IMO.