It sounds like you're doing everything right. I don't have much at the moment but I would be happy to offer a few torch heads if you happen to roll through Highlands Ranch.
I feel your pain. I lost my first reef due to overheating. I had just moved home for the summer and had put the tank in the corner of my bed room...on the 2nd floor...south side of the house. (der, idiot move) I was out of town for the day and by the time I got home the tank was above 90.